As 2011 prepares to become just a page in our collective memory, I'm inspired to take a few moments to remember the good, the bad, and the unexpected about the past year. As I reviewed my New Year's blog post from last year (Better Days), I am actually impressed that my resolution to search for better days did, in fact, succeed. All in all, 2011 will be considered a pretty decent year in my book.
This past spring, I began the exhilirating, treacherous, and stressful journey of graduate school. I have been blessed with the most phenomenal advisor I could ask for, friends who share my anguish and my joy, and some fantastic books added to my bookshelf. Grad school has certainly been a transition, and I'm still in the process of emerging from the Baylor Bubble. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to expand my worldview and garner as much life experience as possible, and it's been a road lined with challenging growth.
I'm also amazed by how much my family has grown this year. It's been a tough year for many of us, especially due to my grandpa's stroke over the summer. While it's forced all of us to experience the aging process in an in-your-face sort of way, I truly think it has been an unlikely blessing. Watching my grandfather struggle to relearn basic skills through physical therapy has filled me with inspiration and reminded me that we continue to grow and learn until our very last breaths. I have gained a newfound appreciation for his quiet demeanor, and I have loved spending more one-on-one time with both my grandparents. Seeing my family members come together and sacrifice for each other has been a beautiful experience, and in some ways, I am thankful for this family crisis. We may not always get along or see eye-to-eye, but I am certain that we are a passionate family: rich in love, opinions, and a strong will to survive.
It would be a mistake not to reflect on my volunteering experiences with the Behavioral Care unit at ACH Child and Family Services in Fort Worth. For the small price of two hours a week, I'm filled up with joy, hope, and appreciation by the children in residence at ACH. I felt called to begin volunteering with children with behavioral concerns in May, and I truly look forward to my time with these kiddos as the best part of my week. Some of these children carry with them sad stories from their past, but all of them exude this brilliance that can only come from resilience. Truly, I have learned so much from them about the ability to find joy in the smallest of happenings, the ability to love despite maltreatment, and the courage to overcome difficult circumstances.
With that in mind, I'm ready to leave 2011 behind, not with a sense of spitefulness or discouragement, but with hope and excitement for the new things that 2012 will bring. My song for this year is Never Be Ready by Mat Kearney.
Come on lay down these arms, all our best defenses
We're taking our chances here on the run
The fear is an anchor, time is a stranger,
Love isn't borrowed, we aren't promised tomorrow
How true is that? Nothing is guaranteed in life, not even tomorrow. I want to enjoy every morsel of each day. Okay, that might be a tad unrealistic (after all, who enjoys sitting in tedious traffic or waiting in line at the grocery store?). Nevertheless, my goal for this year is to enjoy life a little more. Love a little more. Hug a little more. Blog a little more. Pray a little more Do yoga a little more. Smile a little more. Breathe deeply a little more.
I'm not looking for huge changes in 2012, but I'm looking for that elusive happiness in small happenings. If I focus on all the wonderful things that happen on a daily basis, I'm a lot less likely to focus on the things that aren't quite so wonderful. One things I know about myself is that I put off a lot things because I'm waiting to be "ready," but honestly, we all know the perfect moment isn't just going to drop into our laps. Tomorrow isn't promised, and sometimes, today is all we have. Every once in a while, you just have to take a leap of faith. So here's to leaping into 2012!
